The Difference Between Cats and Dogs

After having these cats for a little while now, I’ve come to realize that there are distinct differences between cats and dogs, which I find curious, wondrous, and most of the time, humorous as well. Here is the list I’ve compiled so far.

1) To discipline either a dog or a cat, you need to catch it in the act of what it isn’t supposed to be doing. However, if a dog is doing something it isn’t supposed to do, which my dog rarely does anymore after so many years, you yell at it, show it what the appropriate behavior is if any, and then praise it like crazy. If a cat is doing what it isn’t supposed to do, you yell at it, squirt it with water to the point where it is soaked, chase it away, hiss at it, and then go over and pick it up and praise it. The dog usually learns the lesson after 2 or 3 repetitions. The cat learns the lesson after about 30 repetitions if ever.

2) Dogs are generally pretty quiet while you are sleeping. Cats sleep until you are asleep, and then they make a lot of noise. They push things off of counters to hear them go bang. They bat things around on the floor, especially if you have hardwood floors, and especially if whatever they are batting has a bell in it. They chase each other up and down the stairs, tackle each other, growl at each other, and make all sorts of strange sounds which are completely dissimilar to “meow”. I’ve learned that if I just stay up all the time I have a lot more peace, and a lot fewer broken or lost valuables.

3) Dogs will do anything for a treat. They will sit, lay down, roll over, bow, and even shake your hand for that treat. Cats will do anything they can to snatch the treat from your hand, including working as a team, where one bats your hand and knocks the treat on the ground to distract you, while the other grabs the entire bag of treats, and instantaneously hauls it off to some unknown location where only cats go, even if the bag weighs 15 lbs.

4) This one is not for the squeemish. Dogs will vomit, and before you can get a paper towel to clean it up, it’s magically gone. Cats will cough up a hair ball, sit there and look at it, start to play with it, and then act surprised when you come by yelling and hissing at them with a water bottle in your hand.

5) Dogs will attempt to kick grass or dirt over their feces to cover it up. Cats will bury their feces, and then kick the dirty litter all over the floor just for fun. They will then track this dirty litter all over the house, and the dog will eat it and get diarrhea, all over the house.

6) Dogs love when you rub their bellies and will always be up for a good leg kicking, scratching behind their ears, or on that special spot. Cats love a good belly rub, or scratching, but only when they feel like it. When they do, they will jump onto your lap, or onto a guest’s lap very suddenly, and then paw at you or your guest until the scratching commences. They will then “lovingly” bite you which hurts like hell. If this was the female cat who demanded the scratching first, the male cat will be on your lap within seconds, pushing the female cat out of the way. This results in an MMA match on your lap, during which you, the referee will sustain several bite and scratch wounds.

7) And finally. Dogs exist to please you. If you are happy, they are happy. They are very emotionally attached, and almost empathic. Cats could care less about your feelings. As long as you provide a clean litter box, their food and water, and a warm place for them to sleep whether that is on you, or in their cat tree, they are happy. Oh, and finally, to the cats. I am not a cat tree.

Conclusion? Both dogs and cats require consistency, discipline, patience, a safe and healthful environment, companionship, and most of all love. However, if you took the Meyers-Briggs test and were more of a thinking person, get a cat. If you were more of a feeling person, get a dog. I’m a feeler through and through, but the cats are forcing me to be more consistent, more organized, and more patient. They are also giving me a better understanding of the things I cannot change, the things I can change, and what the difference between the two truly is. For the most part, I can’t change the cats or the dog, but I can change me, and that’s really about it.

The cats took the bandanas off after about 10 minutes. The dog will keep a bandana on until stinks, and is covered in food and slobber.

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Happy Halloween everybody!

4 thoughts on “The Difference Between Cats and Dogs”

  1. Cats just have their very own way of loving their people. Some cats are very affectionate (mine are) while others are more aloof. Dogs are more consistently affectionate.

    1. Agreed! My cats are extremely affectionate, sleeping on me every night and following me everywhere. But if a cat is being affectionate it’s because there’s something in it for the cat. If a dog is being affectionate it’s because they truly want you to be happy with them, and they are seeking your approval. I’d like to call that acceptable codependency.

  2. Very nicely done, Larry. Everything you wrote is spot on. My cat will allow me to scratch his belly for only about 30 seconds…maybe a minute at the most. Then he starts to squirm, bite, or swat. As someone who has had dogs for years and is a relatively new cat “owner,” all I can say is that cats take some getting used to.

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