My Cats


Before I discuss the reason for this posting, I should provide a little background. I’ve had Seri, the female Tortie now since late July of this year. I’ve had Bene (pronounced Ben Eee) the male since early August of this year. I’ve had a dog for 10 1/2 years now but I’ve never had cats on my own before. My dog Jamaica is 45 pounds. At first everybody was afraid of everybody. We’ve been through territorial problems, peeing problems, diarrhea problems, parasite problems, worm problems, dog eating cat poop problems, and I’ve had some financial problems.

But today everyone gets along with everyone, things have settled down and there’s a lot more peace in this home. Today everyone greets me at the door, and today when it’s feeding time all three animals are lined up side-by-side, not waiting patiently but waiting together.

In case you’re wondering, Seri stands for serendipity. This is because I didn’t plan to get a cat. I was in the vet with my dog,and I looked down on the counter and there was a picture of this tortoiseshell cat, actually a kitten at the time. The caption was asking me to take her home. And so I did!

After two weeks of making many mistakes, but asking for help and listening to what people told me to do, Bene entered my life. Bene is short for the benefit of experience because he benefited from the experience I gained with Seri.

Since capturing this picture the other day, I’ve been wondering what was going through each of their heads. What would they have been saying to each other at this moment? After all, it was Thanksgiving when I took the picture. Here’s what I came up with.

Bene to Seri:

– Thank you for accepting me into your home, even though you hissed at me, and clawed at me, and bit me for the first two weeks.
– Thank you for being my big sister, and protecting me from that giant cat who has that giant tail that hits me in the face all the time.
– Thank you for showing me how to swat at that giant tail.
– Thank you for letting me eat your food, and push you out of the way when that big two legged cat is petting you.
– Thank you for showing me all of the great hiding places, so that when I steal little shiny objects I have a place to put them.
– Thank you for running up and down the stairs at 3 o’clock in the morning with me when that big cat with the huge tail and that giant two legged cat are trying to sleep.
– Thank you for being there to comfort me when that two legged cat sprays water at me, hisses at me, and pushes me off the kitchen table just because I’m trying to eat his food.
– Thank you for sleeping with me during the day so I have plenty of energy to be a maniac all night long.

Seri to Bene:

– Thank you for making this your home. I’m so happy to have somebody to play with when that big two legged cat that yells at us a lot isn’t home. That giant cat with the big tail doesn’t want to play. She’s an old fart.
– Thank you for putting up with my diarrhea. I’m so glad those nice ladies at that place where there are lots of cats, and they stick that cold thing up my butt finally figured that one out.
– Thank you for finding all kinds of cool shiny things to play with all over the house. I had no idea that the ends of those curtain rods came out.
– Thank you for pushing me away from my food and eating it so I can stay nice and trim.
– Thank you for doing stupid stuff like putting your head down the drain in the kitchen sink. Even though that big two legged cat yells at you and turns on the faucet, I think it’s funny.

Now, before you think I’m a sap, I want you to know that this isn’t real. I hope you know that. The cats are not saying these things to each other of course. Here is what they are really saying.

Mmmmm…. That bird looks good! Yeah, I could eat me some of that bird! Have you checked that thing we poop in recently? I’ve got to go. I know the one downstairs is clean, but I’m feeling lazy. Wait! The bird moved! You saw that right! It moved? Why are we stuck behind that glass thing. I’m going to get out one of these days. I keep getting closer and closer when that loud cat opens the door. What’s his deal anyway. Yelling at me just because I get on the stove while he’s cooking dinner. I didn’t get burned. Do you see any burns? He is so restrictive. No kitchen table, no stove, no refrigerator, no pantry. This is my house. Who does he think he is. But I do like sleeping on his face. I like his hot, stinky breath. Bird!

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